On MySpace, Dee has received a friend request from a guy named Bruce Mathis that is claiming to be her and Dennis' father. They have lunch with Frank and their mother Barbara to sort out this rumor and Barbara announces that Bruce is their biological father. This sends Frank on a rant which ends in a stroke.
Dennis and Dee meet with Bruce to see what he is like. He is a very nice and giving individual who has dedicated his whole life to helping other people. They attend a fundraiser with him and have a great time. They try to convince their mother to get back together with him and they all meet at a hospital. They all try to give hope to sick children, but Dee, Dennis, and Barbara realize they don't care enough to be philanthropic.
Meanwhile, Mac and Charlie try to connect with Mac's father Luther who has been in prison for Mac's whole life. Luther asks them to smuggle heroin into prison. Instead, they try to be tough by helping Frank beat up Bruce. Mac and Charlie approach Bruce with a baseball bat after the fundraiser but Mac chickens out and Charlie is left to awkwardly take a picture of Bruce up close. They decide to lie to Frank and tell him that they bashed him, after which they drive away quickly.
At Charlie's apartment Frank prepares for a date with a one-night-stand he had 30 years ago. Dennis and Dee enter, asking Frank to be their father again because they didn't want to be as charitable as Bruce. He says no and answers the door to get his date -- Bonnie Kelly. Charlie slowly puts the pieces together in his head: he doesn't know who his father is and Frank slept with his mother 30 years ago.
“Yeah, it is. Stay away from that kind of thing. No good can come from it, trust me.”
—
—
“That's not what we're here to talk about.”
“You better not be, because I don't want no uuhrg grandkids.”
—
—
“I'm not banging my sister!”
“Jesus Christ, what have I walked into here?”
—
—
“Oh my God.”
“You two aren't having sex together...?”
—
—
“No, we're not having sex together.”
“What the hell is she doing here?!”
—
—
“Sit down, please, Mom.”
“I'm not getting pulled into any sort of perverted sex talk.”
—
—
“It's not perverted.”
“Banging your sister is perverted, Dennis!”
—
—
“I'M NOT BANGING MY SISTER!”
—
“Well, maybe it boils down to this, smart guy: Computers are for losers.”
“You're drinking a beer at 8:00 in the morning!”
—
—
“Whatever, dude. Irrelevant.”
—
“This is bullshit. You guys have two dads and I don't even have one.”
—
“Barbara, your turkey-neck is looking exceptionally attractive tonight.”
“You have turned into a retarded person.”
—
—
“You're a retard!”
—
“Children, would you have liked to have been aborted?”
—
“Keep it down? Don't make a scene! Oh no, I'm not going to make a scene. I was just told -- excuse me -- that my horrible whore wife has tricked me into raising two bastards for 30 years and I'm being asked to not back a scene. Oh, excuse me, did you bang my wife? Did you bang my whore wife? Does anybody have any illegitimate children with my whore wife that I don't know about?!”
—
“What do you guys know about smuggling heroin through your anus?”
—
“Did you send him a friend request?”
“I don't want to be his friend, I want to shoot him in the face!”
—
—
“Do you want to shove heroin into your ass?”
“Dude, I don't want to shove anything in my ass!”
—
—
“All right! This is the perfect opportunity to prove how hard we are, and not have to shove anything up our asses!”
—
“We went to this Lupus event last night. Lupus is AWESOME.”
—
“Oh, no, we weren't talking about you. We were talking about your sick and dying friend in the next bed.”
Edit
