Jack Kelly

Jack Kelly
Portrayed by	Andrew Friedman
Family	Charlie Kelly (nephew) Bonnie Kelly (sister)

Jack Kelly (also known as Uncle Jack) is Charlie Kelly's uncle, and may have been a pedophile who molested Charlie as a child (the Nightman). He has small hands and likes taking pictures on a disposable camera for his website.

In Season Five he rented a room from his sister Bonnie Kelly but by Season Six he had moved out.

Early Life

Jack watched Charlie's intervention when Bonnie was convinced by Dennis and Dee that Charlie was molested as a child. Jack took great pleasure in watching Charlie point where he was molested on a doll. ^[1x7]

Jack is a lawyer who helped Dennis get a divorce from Maureen Ponderosa. ^{[Dennis Gets Divorced]} He acted as a representative of Frank's as Frank crusaded for gun ownership, but kept changing the subject to "tasteful nude photography", an example of which was a rather creepy picture of a naked boy sitting on a couch he showed on a live TV broadcast. ^{[Gun Fever Too: Still Hot]}

Character History

Season One

Jack is at the intervention that Charlie's family holds for him when they believe that he was molested as a child.  He takes a quite intense interest in watching Charlie point out where he was touched on a doll. ^[1x7]

Season Five

After Frank sublets their apartment, forcing Charlie out, he approaches his mother about letting him move in. Bonnie tells him that she has rented his old room to Uncle Jack. Uncle Jack is more than willing to share the room with Charlie, saying that they can "pal around" and "get nuts". Charlie refuses, however, mentioning how Jack "tried to share my room with me when I was a kid", thus making it much more clear that Jack molested Charlie when Charlie was a kid. ^[5x3]

Season Six

Jack acts as the lawyer for both Dennis' divorce and the annulment of Frank and Charlie's marriage. He also advises Dee on what to do when she discovers she has unwittingly helped Bill Ponderosa kidnap his kids, though she doesn't quite appreciate his advice. In the end, when it's time for him to negotiate with The Lawyer, who is representing Maureen Ponderosa, he "freezes up" and gets far-less-than-favorable terms for Dennis in the divorce settlement. He compliments The Lawyer's hands quite a few times before and after their negotiations, and asks The Lawyer to put his hands over his own when he has a picture of them taken "for the website." ^[6x2]

Season Nine

Jack accompanies Frank on some of his media appearances to advocate for gun ownership. On one appearance, Jack worries that his hands will look too small on TV. Though Frank and Jack are on TV to argue for Second Amendment rights, Jack starts talking about the government infringing on our rights to have "tasteful artistic nudes", holding up a picture of a naked boy sitting on a couch as an example. Later, when Frank announces a rally in support of gun rights, Jack is sure to remind everyone to bring their kids. ^{[Gun Fever Too: Still Hot]}

Season Eleven

Jack is seen alongside Charlie and Bill Ponderosa in a courtroom as Bill's lawyer. Jack is seen wearing giant hand gloves over his real hands which is referencing to the fact that Jack loves big, masculine hands (especially The Lawyer's hands in ^[6x2]). Jack at one point flings his hands in a particular direction and one of his gloves fly off. He screeches, running over to pick it up, "Nobody look!". In the next scene, we can see the gloves duct-taped onto himself, so that the same problem wouldn't occur. Jack crumbles under pressure however, leaving Charlie to try and win the case.^[11x7]

Appearances

• Season One - "Charlie Got Molested"
• Season Five - "The Great Recession"
• Season Six - "Dennis Gets Divorced", "Mac's Mom Burns Her House Down" (mentioned only)
• Season Nine - "Gun Fever Too: Still Hot"
• Season Eleven - "McPoyle vs. Ponderosa: The Trial of the Century"

Quotes

Uncle Jack (left) in the episode The Great Recession

Uncle Jack: It'll be fun, you know, you and me... pallin' around... gettin nuts! Goin' crazy....

Charlie: I'm not doin' any kinda... crazy things you want me to do with you Uncle Jack...

Uncle Jack: It's stuff that relatives do, we'll share the room Charlie...

Charlie: I don't wanna share the room with you dude, cause I will spend the whole night wide awake just like when I was a kid and you tried to share my room.

Uncle Jack: You ever seen wrestlin' on television?

Charlie: I am well aware of what wrestling is, it's just not what uncles do to their nephews! I'm outta here!

Uncle Jack: Hey I'll call you later.

Charlie: I know you will!

^{[citation needed]}

Uncle Jack: Hold on, fellas.  I'm Jack Kelly.  I'm a lawyer.

The Lawyer: Hello Jack Kelly.  The pleasure is all mine.

Uncle Jack: It's a pleasure to meet you.

The Lawyer: Pleasure's... still... Why don't we just get started?

Uncle Jack: Why don't we just get started?

Uncle Jack: For the website!