Maureen Ponderosa

Maureen Ponderosa, later known as Bastet, is Dennis Reynolds' ex-wife, and a character in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. She is also the sister of Bill Ponderosa.

Season Six[]

Dennis dated Maureen in high school and supposedly planned to marry her. When Mac found out Carmen was getting married, Dennis was inspired to give Maureen a call. They met and in a very short time, got married at City Hall. In the short time she and Dennis were married, Maureen had a craft studio (formerly Mac's room) where she would create several cat sweatshirts. ^[6x1] The crafting and her general neediness drove him crazy and he divorced her. The Lawyer heard about their divorce and felt compelled to involve himself and offered his services to Maureen pro bono while Dennis chose to engage Charlie's Uncle Jack; unfortunately he was awed and perhaps even intimidated by The Lawyer's normal sized hands and as a result the divorce settlement was massively biased towards Maureen. For example, she was apparently in massive debt (about $90,000) and Dennis assumed it in their divorce. Dennis was also ordered to pay alimony. ^[6x2]

Season Seven[]

Maureen attended her high school reunion where she ran into her ex-husband Dennis. She showed him that she was spending his alimony payments on a diamond stud for her dead tooth ^[7x12]. She watched the events of the reunion unfold, include the gang embarrassing themselves during their dance number ^[7x13].

Season Eight[]

Maureen became engaged to Liam McPoyle. The circumstances leading to their betrothal are unknown. Their wedding was set to take place at a cabin in a remote part of the woods. Dennis was not invited, but he showed up anyway, to try to make sure that the wedding goes on, and to have both Maureen and Liam sign a legal document that would release Dennis from his financial obligations to Maureen.

When Dennis saw Maureen, he immediately noticed that she has gotten breast implants and gotten her "dead tooth" fixed, which made her far more attractive to Dennis. When Dennis asked her why she didn't do that when they were married, Maureen responded that she was willing to change for him, but he never asked her to. Maureen's bridesmaids run Dennis off before he could get her to sign the document. After the wedding had descended into chaos (and quite possibly a zombie infestation), Dennis found Maureen again. She was crying so he comforted her, eventually banging her. He thought it terrible, though — he told her that her nipple placement was terrible. Worse for him, Maureen seemed to be completely in love with him again and refused to sign the document, saying they should run away together. ^{[The Maureen Ponderosa Wedding Massacre]}

Season Ten[]

Maureen has had a series of plastic surgeries to make herself look more like a cat (because "Cats are magical", of course), including moving the breast implants that had impressed Dennis so much earlier into her face, and affecting cat-like mannerisms, like saying "Meow-yes" when she's asked a question. Dee and Frank suggest that Maureen should go "full cat" and get further enhancements like fur and a tail. ^{[Mac Kills His Dad]}

Season Eleven[]

Maureen has now accepted her feline emotions and begun her transition into a cat, during episode 7, she will now only be identified as a cat, rather than a human, much to Dennis' despair (as he still has to pay her alimony). Answering in a series of 'meows', hissing when she is threatened, and chasing a laser pointer through a Court of Law, Maureen and those she surrounds herself with must now succumb to her cat-like instincts. ^{[McPoyle vs. Ponderosa: The Trial of the Century]}

Season Twelve[]

Episode 5 begins with a 911 call about a dead 'cat woman', which turns out to be Maureen Ponderosa. Maureen continued her transition to full cat status, changing her name to "Bastet", after the Egyptian goddess of cats. According to her brother, she also started using a litter box. She was scheduled to have a "reverse nipplectomy" to add more nipples to more closely resemble a cat, which Dennis would be obligated to pay for. According to police records, she was found in an alley with her neck broken. Her death was investigated as a possible murder and Dennis was questioned as a suspect. The police investigation and interrogation revealed that Dennis allowed Bastet to store various cat related items at his apartment as her family were not entirely accepting of her transition. He also allowed her to lick him as cats are wont to do; in exchange for both these services, she allowed a reduction in his alimony payments. Ultimately, eyewitness testimony and CCTV camera footage showed that Bastet was in fact "prancing around on the rooftops like an asshole" and fell, breaking her neck. Dennis Reynolds was not charged.

Appearances[]

Season Six: "Mac Fights Gay Marriage," "Dennis Gets Divorced"
Season Seven: "The High School Reunion," "The High School Reunion, Part 2: The Gang's Revenge"
Season Eight: "Maureen Ponderosa's Wedding Massacre"
Season Nine: "The Gang Saves the Day" (in a flashback sequence)
Season Ten: "Mac Kills His Dad"
Season Eleven: "McPoyle vs. Ponderosa: The Trial of the Century"
Season Twelve: "Making Dennis Reynolds a Murderer" (Photos only)
It’s Always Sunny: Gang Goes Mobile

Quotes[]

Maureen: I like to be comfy, and current.

Season Six, Mac Fights Gay Marriage

Maureen: (to Dennis) Now you get yourself on that couch, I'm going to make some fish sticks.